RONNIE BIGGS

After a circa 30 hour delay, I'm finally free and back in the good ol' U of K. I felt like Ronnie Biggs , except I didn't leave with lots of money. Being delayed was an inevitable nightmare, especially with no clothes or toiletries - turning my undies inside out just isn't as effective as it used to be. We made the most of it though, spending our day of nothingness at the Mall of America, apparently the largest indoor shopping centre in the States. To be honest, it was pretty chunky, 4 floors and all, and it also boasted a theme park that we took full advantage of... well, Jen did. Hey, some of those rides looked really dangerous!

My biggest conquest was the teddy bear machine. You know, the claw thingy that drops down and grabs a cuddly toy before dropping it quicker than an English fielder. Well, for some reason, I have a knack with these and can normally win one within a few goes. That day in Minnesota was no different, and I managed to bag Brian from Family Guy and a shark, who we initially thought was Sharky from 'Sharky and George' before realising he was the wrong colour and not donning the correct hat, for just 3 bucks. Well, I guess I've gotta have a talent somewhere, shite at poker.

When we returned to the airport after the ruddy weather storm had halted our progress the day prior, we were seated on the aircraft and then booted off again after a couple of hours! According to the captain, the light was saying the door wasn't closed even though it wasn't! Crikey, I hope I wasn't just delayed for a few hours because of a dodgy lightbulb!

Anyhow, we eventually left 4 hours later and landed in Gatwick ready for a flooded train network and 2 hour train journey. Fucking marvellous!

Back home, I popped onto the scales in my birthday suit and saw some shocking results (the weight, not from being in the nod) - 9.2 stone. Eeeeeek! Time to get back on the old pizzas again, and pronto

I'm a firm believer in 'healthy body, healthy mind' and, considering that I'm going to be playing poker more frequently, I think it's about time I gained some weight.

With that in mind, I'm launching Mission Fat Jabba.

Current Jabbaness = 9.2 stone

I have plenty of poker related waffle to retell from Vegas, but can't be bothered now, so will pop that up over the next few days. Until then, toodle pip and thanks to everyone for linking me in. There are some great blogs out there.