Saturday, September 30, 2006


The time is now 11.47 am. I’ve been playing online since 3am, so that’s well over 7 hours in total.
I’m pretty demorlaised. I was 800 up at one point, but through a combination of fatigue and bad decisions on vital pots, I lost that 800 pretty swiftly.

Then, whilst I was hovering on even for a while, something weird happened – my shoulders slumped and I truly started to feel down. It’s been a while since I’ve felt like that and, to be honest, it was pretty scary.

It’s probably the combination of a bad week at the office, a struggle with the online ring games, and just sheer exhaustion. I kinda feel burnt out at the moment and I think it’s affecting my online play. In fact, I’m almost certain it is, I’m just not playing with the same vigour as before and everything seems a little arduous. At one point I remember thinking those fearsome words “what’s the point?” Once you start thinking like that, you know you’re in trouble.

I really shouldn’t have played for so long. I managed to get to 600 up again, but then ended up 800 down for the day. I knew I should have stopped, so it’s a clear indication that my discipline has temporarily deserted me.

I’m finding it very difficult to quit at the moment, mainly due to my lack of playing opportunites and my over eagerness to make some extra bucks. I’ve been far too keen to hit the cash tables and, as a result, it’s actually costing me money.

The way I’m feeling right now, I’m not too sure I should be playing the Gutshot. It’s not the money, it’s just my state of mind that I’m concerned about. Perhaps I need a break, but even that’s difficult when your daily duties lie with blonde and you have a live update almost every week. I honestly find it very difficult to avoid poker, even for just a day.

Ah well, I shall see how I feel tomorrow, but I’m sure you can tell by tone that I’m not myself. I may give online another go this weekend, just to see how it feels. I’m not 100% confident, but I reckon if I focus on my discipline I should be back to normal in no time. I refuse to believe my recent losses have been down to bad luck, I couldn’t lose a week ago and I felt great. Time for that form to return…


At 5:30 PM, Blogger Ukgatsby said...

Always hurts more when tired.
Get some kip.



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