THE 2006 BEAGLE AWARDS

THE 2006 BEAGLE AWARDS

Greetings all and welcome to the inaugural Beagle Awards in which I have 19 special awards to, well… award.

Everyone seems to be doing these at the moment, so, being the bandwagon jumper that I am, I felt it would be a shame not to steal a piece of the pie.

We might not have Jonathan Ross or Billy Crystal to award them, but if you can imagine a suited and booted Tony ‘tikay’ Kendall handing out those shiny Beagle trophies, then who needs a live stage?

But enough of the chitchat, let’s get this show on the road.

(1) HIDEOUS PHOTO OF THE YEAR

Winner = Simon Trumper

Taken from his recent jaunt to St Kitts, Mr Trumper can clearly be seen indecently exposing his buttocks to a tortured cameraman. Zoom in and you will see that he has the letters DTD tattooed along his bum crack. I’ll never be able to look him in the face again without being reminded of his white bum cheeks.

(2) HAIRSTYLE OF THE YEAR

Winner = Olabode ‘Buddy’ Ayegun

Snapped by Rhowena at the Poker 6 in Bolton, I’m not sure if Buddy wins the award for best or worst barnet. Either way, he takes home the second award of the night for a sterling effort with the clippers.

(3) NORKAGE OF THE YEAR

Winner = the Doylesroom Girls

A controversial one perhaps as the Milwaukee girls sure were popular, but for those looking for a touch of class, then Brunson’s lasses are just the ticket. Nice, friendly and always smiling, oh yeah, and big babylons to boot.

(4) CAPTION OF THE YEAR

Winner = Curtis ‘Sheriff Fatman’ Ledger

As voted for by the Blonde Poker forum, the mod takes it down with his pearls of wit. Hinting that Brummie Marc Goodwin might be a little light on his feet wins it hands down for me.

Mr Cool's image was shattered when the shuffle on his iPod found 'YMCA'.

(5) ARGH!!! OF THE YEAR

Winner = H.O.R.S.E Final

The inaugural WSOP H.O.R.S.E Event, an esteemed $50,000 competition that aimed to find the poker world’s best all round player. Not so come the final as the tourney was shamelessly transformed into a No Limit Hold ‘Em crapshoot for the purpose of ‘entertainment’. And to top it all off? – History’s most tedious seven hour heads-up encounter in which Chip Reese outdrew his way to victory. Marvellous.

(6) MYSTERY OF THE YEAR

Winner = John Hewston’s magic chip

How about this for an X-File?? What the ‘eck is happening to John Hewston’s chip in this picture from Grosvenor Bolton? Has the paranormal entered the world of poker or does John possess supernatural powers?

(7) UK VENUE OF THE YEAR

Winner = The Broadway Casino, Birmingham

Good service, prompt starts, friendly staff, dealer dealt tables, great facilities and a sensored flush in the loos, the Broadway really is the bee’s knees.

(8) EUROPEAN VENUE OF THE YEAR

Winner = Casino Barriere, Deauville

It might be in the middle of nowhere and take about a dozen train journeys to reach, but both Casino and town are beautiful. Absolutely nothing to do, but hotels, facilities and food are all top notch. Plus, my room even had a Jacuzzi! Well worth the trip.

(9) TOURNAMENT OF THE YEAR

Winner = Amsterdam Master Classics

Awarded the title not just for the added money and lack of juice, but the splendid treatment of the players, quality of service and free buffets. A popular comp that everyone looks forward to.

(10) ONLINE SITE OF THE YEAR

Winner = PokerStars

Excluding the Blonde Poker cardroom (obviously), PokerStars dominated the market in 2006 and emerged as the leading player in online poker. Now the busiest site on the Internet, they have left the competition behind with their secure software and reliable customer service.

(11) HAND OF THE YEAR

Winner = Hansen vs. Negreanu on HSP

This wickedly entertaining 575k pot from Series 2 featured a nasty Quads vs. Full House encounter. Worth seeing for Hansen’s smug “I’ll let you go for the 700” comment.

(12) DOH OF THE YEAR

Winner = JJProdigy

The multiple account player who bravely used the shoddy excuse “My Grandma was playing” upon being questioned about the two seats he was playing when he won $140,000 on Party Poker. Party promptly removed the spondoolies from his account. Ouch.

(13) BLOGGER OF THE YEAR

Winner = Ed Hollis

A hero of sorts. Ed’s 88% Concentration blog entertained viewers by gradually transforming his 170k bankroll to zip, nada, nil on January 2nd. Often playing well above his ‘roll, this was a sickly discomforting read at times, but always vastly honest and entertaining.

(14) UNSPONSORED PLAYER OF THE YEAR

Winner = Stuart Fox

Followed up a 2nd and a 3rd in WSOP to finally win a ‘big one’ by taking down the Ongame Network Poker Classic in December for $239,384. Why this guy isn’t sponsored, only the Poker Gods know.

(15) CRIKEY! OF THE YEAR

Winner = Vicky Coren

Shocked us all by winning half a million at this year's London EPT, subsequently becoming the Tour’s first female victor. Women and poker, I guess they do mix after all!

(16) BRAVO OF THE YEAR

Winner = Arshad Hussain

Fought back from a hopelessly short-stacked position to finish a highly commendable second in this year’s EPT Grand Final in Monte Carlo. Only pipped at the post by an American who had to get up for school the next day.

(17) WSOP HERO OF THE YEAR

Winner = John Gale

Finally brought home that bracelet he so richly deserves and helped save face for the floundering Brits at this year’s World Series. Paul ‘Pab’ Foltyn just misses out after finalling in the $5,000 short-handed.

(18) RISING STAR OF THE YEAR

Winner = Zahir ‘Zippy’ Aslam

A running buddy of Ash Hussain, Zippy emerged as one of the circuit’s strongest and most fearsome players, winning October’s Grand Prix at Walsall before taking down two side events at the Irish and Midland Masters.

(19) PLAYER OF THE YEAR

Winner = Roland De Wolfe

Few would contest this accolade as the Londoner takes home the final award of the night after becoming the first player to win both an EPT and WPT Event, not to mention the million bucks he took home from the Bellagio. Fully deserving of his Full Tilt deal.

And that’s a wrap, folks!

Stick a fork in me...