(4) RATHER BE KUCKY THAN GOOD

I didn't think I'd be able to wangle it, but sweet baby Jesus of Nazareth, I managed to fit in some online poker over the festive period and can proudly boast two hours of Boxing Day heads-up fun and frolics. With Dana failing to rise until the eyebrow raising hour of 5pm, I tip-toed into my bedroom like a ballerina at the Nutcracker and hit the $2/4 tables with the enthusiasm of a child opening his Wii the day prior.

Again, I was pretty pleased with the way I played. I kept my focus and targeted the weaker players instead of venturing towards potentially stronger players when the action dried up. In terms of pots, my strategy of picking off shorter stacks is, not surprisingly, decreasing the size of my biggest pot, which was $441.20 today. Who would have thought a speculative pre-flop raise with 6-3o would clean someone out? Well it did, and after betting every street of a Q-5-4-7-6 rainbow board, my unfortunate victim was unable to release Pocket Sixes after a cruel Turn and River. Still, he never once popped out a raise, so I guess my agression was rewarded. Always makes me laughs when hands just get worse and worse for our capeless crusaders.

More notably, my smallest pot has remained thankfully small, which is, again, a sign that I am staying away from the big wigs. I did cross the wrong guy at one point though, when a a player that I had locked horns with before but didn't appear to have any notes on sat down at my table. His uber aggression had me in knots for the opening hands and quickly saw me down by $100 plus. However, he made a mistep on one hand and paid me that 100 bucks back, plus a little juice. At this point, I decided that I was uncomfotable with his unpredicable play and incessant pot swelling and decided to sit out.

Unfortunately, even though we were close to even for our brief bout, he didn't seem to take my departure too well and proceeded to follow me around ipoker, sitting down at any table I played at. In order to deter this personal vendetta, I tried to tell him that it was a compliment, but he was clearly snorting fire like the Incedible Hulk in a post office queue as he opened up every available $2/4 table and sat down, thus meaning that I coudn't get in the game unless I played him, which I didn't want to do. Sigh!

Meanwhile, other oddities were occuring in my chatbox. One opponent went ape at me for three lines, even using capitals, which is always a sign that they've lost it. His moans were unjustified, incidentally, he was a poor player and I'd been far from Kucky. I suppose typos are inevitable when you're bashing down on the keyboard like a pianist on smack.

Villain: ANYMORE KUCK?
Villain: FIXED
Villain: FISH

Then, later on, when I was in the Danny La Rue (rhyming slang for 'loo' - just made it up!), I returned to see this gobbledygook waiting for me in the chatbox. I've never played against or crossed paths with this mentalist, but he seemed to have a Christmas message for me. If anyone can work out which bit is saying "I hope you had a good Christmas", then please let me know.

Mentalist: lol
Mentalist: losee loser
Mentalist: men
Mentalist: little sexs
Mentalist: ahahahahahahahahaah^$$*
Mentalist: good or no good

Anyhow, back to business, I was up $329.37 for the day, which is awesome considering I only squeezed in a couple of hours before SWMBO (She Who Must Be Obeyed) showed her coffee-hungry face. Meanwhile, I've added a couple of pointless stats regarding my current form. They're pretty much irrelevant at this stage and could completey change after one carcrash of a session, but they make me feel good about myself and I wanted to inflate my head as much as possible before I run into that inevitable losing session. 4 wins in a row, it's bound to come, for once I'm going to be prepared.

biggest pot won: $441.20
biggest pot lost: $119.00
time at the table: 2hrs 14mins

profit = $329.37
blonde poker account = $2,841,63
$2,138.37 to go before the tax man goes away

Days played = 4
total time played = 13 hrs 29 mins
current $ per hour = $114.34
current $ per day = $385.41