Friday, December 23, 2005

ROCK BOTTOM

In keeping with catching my emotions as they happen, I’m writing now after just suffering a severe blow online. Up until this week, I’d yet to encounter a losing day, but now I’ve stumbled across 3 at once. I currently feel ashamed, angry, and disappointed. I can take losing money, but when it’s my own fault, I find it unacceptable. Usually I walk away from the laptop and forget about it within minutes, but this time, I’ve been beating myself up about it. Perhaps it’s because it’s my living now, maybe it’s because it was my 3rd consecutive loss, I could just be tired, who knows? Either way, I feel absolutely gutted.

All that hard work from the previous month, all that good play, all that resistance to tilting. Then I go and blow it all by playing like an idiot. For the first time in a long long time, I tilted. I didn’t just blow off a little steam, I raised the bar to the highest level of tiltness. Firstly, I started reaising preflop with rubbish in order to create action. I created action all right, but none of it was beneficial to my stack. Then every time I missed a flop, I tried a bluff, which always went pear shaped. If I actually hit something, I always seemed to be reraised by a hand which I knew was better than mine. But did I have the sense to release? Oh no, I refused to lay it down. I hit top pair with my AK, I know the reraiser has trips, so why on earth do I carry on playing the hand?! I even had a conversation with myself about how I should be laying the hand down, but I still didn’t listen. To make matters worse, I spread my titling over the four tables I was playing. I was doing all right on some of them, but I let my bad fortune on other tables effect my game across the whole board. Then, to tip it all off, I start racking off my chips. Instead of just taking my small stack and leaving the table, I looked for spots to gamble. All were stupid gambles, and all were deservedly punished. Sometimes, I make myself so mad it’s unbelievable.

I’m just not sure what’s wrong with me at the moment. I never ever tilt like this, so why now? Okay, I can honestly say that today I received the worst run of luck I have encountered in 4 years of online play. However, that doesn’t automatically mean that I should go on complete tilt and throw my remaining chips away. I’m full time now, if I do it again, I guarantee that I’ll give it all up and get myself my job. It’s that simple, what more motivation do I need?

Right, enough of the ranting. As you can clearly gather, I’m still furious with myself. Time to get a grip now. These things happen, nobody’s perfect. I thought I had tilting under complete control, but obviously I was wrong. I need a break, I won’t play till after Christmas, perhaps in about a week. In that time I will gather my thoughts and look back at some of the decisions I made. I was obviously fatigued, so I will sleep more and get myself into shape. Healthy body is a healthy mind, and I’ve ignored this recently. I just haven’t been thinking straight. Also, I’ll read some poker books to keep my brain active. Maybe watch some poker on tv, anything to keep me occupied.

Bottom line. Today I hit rock bottom, so the only way is up. I messed up, it won’t happened again, and if it does, I’m quitting.

6 Comments:

At 9:10 PM, Blogger Lancy Howard said...

Hi m8

Enjoy your blog and big up to you. I probably need to get out more but I am a keen reader of nigh on all the poker blogs out there. I love this game and I find them very educational.

They have a very common theme running through them, and it hits you right in the face. There is one definite and its this:

Good players will be bad beat on a very regular basis...FACT. Good players will get the money in when they have the best of it and to use a slanskyism induced thier opponents to play badly.

Problem is up to 49% of the time the opponents will draw out.

All this reading has lead me to a conclusion as follows.

Many can be a better poker player than the majority. Not many can handle being better and losing a highish proportion of the time.

However if you win more of the time than you lose AND can handle bad beats you can make a living at this.

Tilting gives back to your opponents your edge...and some

hope this makes sense

(Im Lancy Howard on blondepoker)

God Bless

 
At 10:43 AM, Blogger snoopy1239 said...

Thx for your interest lancy.

What you say is exactly why I was so angry.

'Tilting gives back to your opponents your edge.'

I can take bad luck, but when I lose because of tilting, it's unacceptable, especially when it's my living. It won't happen again.

I'm with Yaz tho, 'The Only Way Is Up!' :-)

 
At 1:21 PM, Blogger MrMoves said...

Chin up Snoopy. Three losing days isn't the end of the world. I had an entire week of crap a while ago, a combination of bad play and out draws.

The Christmas break will do you good, take a few days away from poker completely. Works for me anyway.

All the best.

 
At 4:35 AM, Blogger boodereham said...

dont despair snoops........i am on a two week losing run (circa 3k)..mostly to do with a bad run of cards and an inability to win races...my way of escaping when i feel i am about to tilt is to enter a couple of freerolls and play like a complete lunatic or to leave the house and go for a short walk.its amazing how refreshing this can be especially this time of year

 
At 10:26 AM, Blogger snoopy1239 said...

Thx for those comments guys. Helps raise my spirits and they are much appreciated. Hopefully, I'll be back in the zone after the festivities.

ps. Merry Xmas!

 
At 5:45 AM, Blogger KingBenno said...

Hi mate,

I've only just started reading your blog recently (since it was added to Milkybarkid's blog, along with mine). Just wanted to say chin up, we all make mistakes and the difference is, those people who learn from their mistakes and those who don't. I hope your the former in this case, and you've made the right move by saying that your not going to play for the next few days/a week, as an idiot would try and win it all back instantly, so nice discipline there.
I've just had two of the worse luck sessions ever 4 tabling $2/5 NL for a number of hours, and believe me that adds up.....
...and for my main point..
As winning poker players we have to look at the large picture more then looking at the results of a session/day/week. You can't let the short term results determine the way you play, you need to keep a clear head if you have lost 3 days in a row, if you were playing right, blank it out and play your game, as you WILL win in the long run, these are just blips, and the law of averages says you will always have losing days in a row, no matter how good you are...
Chin up,
All the best for the remaining year, and 2006,
Ben

 

Post a Comment

<< Home