MY MIDLANDS MISSION - PART IV

Tom ‘Red-Dog’ McCready may be a dead ringer for Magnum PI, but sadly that’s where the similarities end.

It’s moments before the £200 No Limit Hold’Em Freezeout at Walsall, and our doggy friend decides to take a quick trip to the loo, a journey, however, that takes an unexpected detour as he accidentally trundles into the ladies.

Now I’m a fair man, so I give him a shout, but if he’s not going to hear me, then I think it’s only right that I call TightEnd over and suggest we wait, camera aloft, for his inevitably embarrassing return, which is of course what I chose to do.

Although poised ready for his imminent exit, Tom took a good couple of minutes before leaving the ladies, and as a result, TightEnd and I must have looked like a right couple of perverts standing outside the kazi with a rye smile on our face and a phone pointing towards the door.

When he eventually showed his mug, he was still blissfully unaware of his faux-pas. How he didn’t notice the lack of urinals I’ll never know, but when we pointed out that the little man on the door was wearing a skirt, a dusty light bulb suddenly illuminated the McCready brain.

“I thought it was clean in there,” commented Tom as his cheeks went red. “I didn’t even look for any urinals, I just went straight into the nearest cubicle.”

Later on the forum, Tom added: “Thinking back, I did become a bit suspicious when I noticed that the hand basins were particularly clean, but I was lulled onto a false sense of security when someone in the cubicle behind me let rip two enormous farts. One was a prolonged purr, like a flock of sparrows taking off, the other was more of a bang, reminiscent of someone discharging a shotgun at close quarters.”

I could forgive him if this was his first trip to Walsall, but he’s been a gazillion times, so there’s no excuse whatsoever. Tom, hang your head in shame, either that or admit that it was intentional. We won’t think any less of you…

But back to business, we couldn’t stand around all day giggling at Bob Carolgies, we had a comp to play, and I knew I was going to be in trouble from the start when a gleaming Chili alerted me to the fact that we were sharing a starting table. A frightening prospect, but I refuse to lie down for a girlie (well, except danafish of course…)

Apart from Chili (left) and the ever cheery Jeff Burke, I thought my table was pretty unthreatening, I just didn’t like the fact that it was up in the staged area as I knew it would be one of the first to break. I hate it when this happens as you can spend the first few levels building up an image and working out your opponents, only to have to start all over again when you are unavoidably moved to a new table. I guess it’s a random draw, so I can’t complain, but I always seem to start at one of the latter tables. Grr. As Chris Bruce said during the break, “I don’t ever feel like I’m part of the tournament up there.”

I yoyoed for the first three levels. I was being dealt quite a few hands but rarely hitting the flop. I did hit one with J-T vs Chili’s A-J on a J-T-x flop, and that got me up to around 6k, but then I dropped back down to 4k after having to fold J-J on a 6-7-8-T board when my opponent check-raised all-in.

I then moved tables and hovered around 5k for quite a while. The hands dried up and the blinds ate me up a little. Down to 4.5k and blinds of 300/600, I raised to 1,500 with 7-7 before laying it down to a re-raise from the small blind. It took me a while to muck as I’d invested a third of my stack and was tempted to gamble on a coinflip. Thankfully, I did fold and he revealed Kings.

I then moved all-in with Sixes (just over a pot raise) only to be called by an under the gun limper’s A-3 (??). No Ace and I was back up to 6.5k. The blinds passed again, before I moved all-in with A-9 for 5k and blinds of 400/800. There had been 3 limpers (2 passive players and one big chipper who was clearly calling for value), so I was pretty sure they’d fold to such a chunky bet, and even if they didn’t, I was convinced I’d be 50-50 at worst. Unfortunately, a loose player called me from the small blind with Pocket Nines and I was in deep shit. No Ace and I was a gonna. I could have waited another round or two, but I saw an opportunity to pick up some dead money (3.6k in all), it’s just a shame that the wrong guy had the wrong hand at the wrong time.

I was disappointed, but happy that I’d played relatively well and made the correct move. I can’t account for what the guy had behind me, I was getting short and needed to make a move within the next couple of rounds, this was surely as good a chance as any. He called extremely quickly with his nines, so I guess he’s either just a loosey goosey player or simply assumed I was making a move to pick up the extra shrapnel. Either way, it was the correct call for him to make and I have no complaints.

Stu had been eliminated early doors and was now seated in the cash game, so I decided to exit stage left and head home. However, you know when it’s not your day when there’s a big blue van parked behind you, sigh. I could just about squeeze out, but my windows were steamed and I suck at these sorts of situations. I don’t recall having to undertake a 10-point turn in my driving test, but this was one of those occasions. With a little help from the security guard, I managed to scrape my way out of what was a tight situation, but I honestly wasn’t in the mood at this stage. Think Austin Powers trying to turn that little buggy around and you’ll have an idea of how stupid I probably looked.

I quite like the motorway at night, it’s kind of therapeutic. It’s obvious to me that the only people on the M6 at 3am in the morning are lorry drivers and poker players. That night, I kind of wished I was the former, it seems a hell of a lot less stressful…

Sunday - £20 NLH R/B @ Broadway (7th +£161.60) = +£161.60
Monday - £100 NLH R/B @ Walsall (-£310) = -£148,40
Monday - £50 STT SAT @ Walsall (+195) = +£46.60
Tuesday - £200 NLH F/O @ Walsall (-£220) = -$173.40
Wednesday - £300 NLH D-C F/O @ Walsall (£325)
Thursday - £500 NLH F/O @ Walsall (£525)
Friday - £250 NLH S/O @ Walsall (£275)
Friday - £20 NLH R/B @ Broadway (£120)

(including registration fees)